Blog: Mel's Muse
Showing posts categorised as 'Personal Growth'
Thank You Father: For Your Gifts
Have you ever thought about what led you into a certain career? Or whether you've wished you'd taken a different route?
My longing, as a teenager, was to become an actress, but my parents thought otherwise. My father wanted me to go to university, an aspiration my mother shot down, telling...
Thank God: For Wisdom
Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. James 3:13
This was part of our reading at St Matthias Church last Sunday morning, and the basis of the brilliant sermon given by our Minister,...
Drug Dependency Therapy
I wrote, last week, suggesting ways in which to deal with mischief and destruction. Titled Antidotes To Vandalism, the theme centred on the way in which the breakdown in family and community has on young lives, plus the misuse of the internet creating the sentiment that anti-social behaviour might be...
Antidotes To Vandalism
Vandalism! Is it fun? Well, it would appear to be so.
Strolling through the parks, on our usual daily walk, I pointed out to my husband a young tree that had been damaged.
'Could that have been caused by the strong winds we've had recently?' I asked, doubtfully.
We then saw two more....
God Has A Plan
Born with a painful intestine disease
My childhood was anything but a breeze.
'Ignore her crying,' my mother was told,
'She's seeking attention, naughty and bold.'
Reprimands and smacked bottoms followed,
Banished to my room, I hollered and hollered.
But God had a plan, he helped me break free
Through escape to the loft, much to...
Mental Health Issues: Part 1 - My Story
We hear, repeatedly, about the number of young people suffering from mental health issues, but little about any means of reparation. This, despite being told that 'Your mental health is just as important as your physical health'. One of the causes, however, is listed as being 'childhood abuse, trauma,...
. . . To New Life
Diana completed the record of her last client, switched off her computer, and leaned back in her chair. Counselling Michael – Mike, as he liked to be known – was not without complications. Never before had she been called upon to resolve the difficulties faced by a farmer, despite the...
Misinterpreting The Specification: Two Halves Don't Make A Whole
Most marriages don't add two people together. They subtract one from the other.
From: Diamonds are Forever, by Ian Fleming
This cynical view of marriage, once considered exclusively a male bastion for bachelorhood, is fast gaining credence amongst post-feminist women - if certain American TV chat shows are to...
Writing The Rights & Wrongs Of Life
Are you as fed up with the negative concept of society as I am? Every day we’re bombarded with news about failing governments, education, health and housing services, marriages, families and kids – and that’s without all the heartbreak of drug and alcohol abuse, and 3 million children starving to...
Shining Forth Despite The Darkness
I wrote, a few weeks ago, asking Who Inspired You To Be You? showing how you can often trace your gifts and aspirations back to childhood. For me, it was the trauma of ill-health and an abusive marriage that initially lit up my life, leading to my becoming a bestselling...
Who Inspired You To Be You?
Who inspired you to be who you are? And how did that come about? Being a bestselling author, this is a question I've often been asked. But whether or not you're a writer, secretary, nurse, or whatever, this is a question, and answer, that could apply to any and all.
Think...
Come Holy Spirit
The aim of my book, Picked For A Purpose is to show each one of us the purpose that God has for us, which is to bear fruit for him. That fruit is to show love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. But he doesn't...
Bereavement: Looking After Yourself
Last time we looked at Bereavement: Coping With The Initial Shock, using my own experience following my daughter's death, and quoting from the book I wrote some years later. What I learned was that numbness and denial, disbelief and a wandering mind, are common experiences when we first learn...
Is Kayne West Boasting? Or Shining A Light?
Have you ever thought, on Remembrance Day, about how you would like to be known? Perhaps as who you are: husband/wife, father/mother, son/daughter? Or by what you do accountant/shopkeeper, secretary/ lawyer, nurse/charity worker/singer? Or possibly, by what you've achieved?
SUCCESS IS AWESOMEAccording to Premier Media, American music artist,...
Blossom In Season? A Guest Blog By Helen Elliott
"Why am I getting angry at a tree?"
A question definitely worthy of consideration, I decided, as I stared out of my window for the third or fourth time that week.
It was a huge tree, surrounded by apartments, all in facing and it was Springtime.
The tree was supposed...
Creative Writing Workshop: Characteristic Conflict
In the last Creative Writing Workshop, we looked at the way in which we can go about Creating Credible Characters. Now I'm going to show you how you can bring creativity to the way you construct conflict. This is crucial when it comes to writing fiction and memoir...
Can Drama Be An Aid To Wellbeing?
Oh, yes! BAFTA winning actress, Jessica Hynes, who starred in the BBC Comedy Drama W1A, with Hugh Bonneville, is campaigning for drama to be given greater prominence in schools. This, she believes, can boost mental health and wellbeing in young people. I'm convinced that she is right....
The Making Of Us By Sheridan Voysey - Book Review
DISCOVER WHO YOU CAN BECOME
I love Sheridan's lyrical style of writing - so inviting, so personal, so picturesque. Right from the first page, I found myself enthralled, as if I were meeting someone whom I knew, instantly, was going to become a friend. Likewise, when grappling with sorrow...
Catching Contentment By Liz Carter - Book Club Discussion
I first heard of Liz Carter's book, Catching Contentment, when I read, somewhere, that she had suffered a lifelong illness. Instantly, that resonated with me. Having undergone a similar experience, myself, I felt a closeness with Liz that belied the fact that we had never met, nor communicated...
Inside Out
'Making clean-eating a dirty word gets my vote', so says Bryony Gordon in The Daily Telegraph. Quoting the Duchess of Cornwall, who was speaking at a reception for the Royal Osteoporosis Society, she warned young women against 'fad diets' which have the potential of making them ill. Lack...
Catching Contentment - A Guest Blog
I lay on a trolley in A and E, my breathing coming in rapid gasps. My oxygen sats were too low and the pain clamped me in a vice grip, leaving me crying out. 'It's a pneumococcal infection in both lungs,' the consultant said, and admitted me for intensive...
Thomas's Story: Overcoming Physical & Mental Struggles
My next book, Picked for a Purpose, with the strapline Bearing fruit through times of hardship, was written at the request of my publisher. Each short chapter contains a story from my life, followed by a page or two of reflections, in which I look back, with the wisdom...
World Mental Health Day: Don't Chase The World
DON'T CHASE THE WORLD
Why do I feel such a waste of space?
Why is life always such a race -
To emulate, or, better yet
To surpass the success with which others have met?
Is this the world in which I live?
Is this the future I wish to give
To those who follow on...
Suicide Prevention Day: The Trauma For Those Left Behind
THE TRAUMA FOR THOSE LEFT BEHIND
I spent the morning speaking with a male friend, of longstanding, whose mother took her own life when he was in his mid-teens. Coincidence? I had no idea that today, Monday 10th September, 2018 is World Suicide Prevention Day. Nor that my...
Book Club: Sensible Shoes - Whose Do You Walk In? Who Are You?
Who are you? Whose shoes do you walk in? Is this a question you've ever ask? No. I don't mean do you ask it of other people. That's not British! Downright rude, in fact. So - who are you? Is this something...
Archbishop By Michele Guinness: Book Club Discussion On Personal Discipleship & Service
Personal Discipleship & Service
(Quotes from the book - with permission from Michele Guinness, below - are in italics)
There were a number of salient points in Michele Guinness's book when it came to personal discipleship in these troubled times, and we all agreed with Archbishop Vicky that it is only...
Archbishop By Michele Guinness: Book Club Discussion On What Constitutes Church?
WHAT CONSTITUTES CHURCH?
(Quotes from the book are in italics)
With some members of our Readers' Group being Street Pastors and School Pastors, and all of us attending churches involved in outreach, the issue of whether church is a building or a people was one that resonated. Faced with...
National Poetry Day: My Poem, Picked For A Purpose
A seed, a weed, is sown and grown,
This is your life, you know!
The soil, the toil till it's full blown
Bring happiness and woe.
The root, the shoot, the stem and leaf
The pain the rain of life,
The sun, your joy, gives way to grief
As struggles become rife.
Nipped in the bud...
Picked For A Purpose 3: Seeds Sown
SEEDS SOWN
Sometimes people of faith speak of coincidence as being God-incidents. So while a coincidence might be described as random - an accident, chance, luck, fluke, or twist of fate - a God-incident is thought to be an unexpected occurrence in which God is perceived to have had an...
Picked For A Purpose 1 - Me And Daddy, Daddy And Me
ME AND DADDY, DADDY AND ME
I suppose it was the letters that were the trigger - first for my depression, then for my understanding. Small blue folded airmails that bore my mother's name on them, plus whatever address happened to be relevant at the time. She had kept...
What Makes A Writer Write?
I was reading a blog post on Women Writers, Women’s Books which posed the query, Do you have to suffer to write?
It’s a valid and interesting question.
LESLEY PEARSE: A NAUGHTY LITTLE LIAR?I attended a World Book Night event yesterday, at which Lesley Pearse, bestselling novelist, was speaking. She had us...
Book Club Discussion Summary: Naturally Supernatural By Wendy Mann
A good deal of laughter accompanied our Readers’ Group discussion last week. The book we had been reading, which I had suggested some two months earlier, was titled Naturally Supernatural, and was written by Wendy Mann. With a new senior minister joining us, in the meantime, we felt sure -...
Mel's Online Book Club Discussion: The Fight By Luke Wordley
I had the pleasure of meeting with author, Luke Wordley, and received a signed copy of his book. In choosing to read The Fight for Book Club, we felt we were moving outside our comfort zone. It was with some surprise, therefore, that all our members enjoyed reading it. Some...
A Hint Of An American Romance Blooming In Time To Shine?
And another excerpt from my latest novel, Time to Shine, which has gained more 5* reviews since the last taster on my blog. Sorry that the photos of the sky don't quite match the description in the book.
Here, Evie Adams, with a broken marriage behind her, takes some time out...
Time To Shine - A Taster Of My New Book
I thought you might like to read a taster of my new book - a gentle psychological mystery - and see a photograph of the setting in Exeter. The protagonist, Evie Adams, is the narrator in this passage, taken from Chapter 2
Arriving for work early one morning soon after my...
Big Book Sale: Stepfamilies - Practical Help To Build A Stable, Happy Stepfamily
How do you tell your children they are going to have a step-parent? How do you handle disagreements about access and money? How do you deal with past hurts and fears?
All families have their difficulties, but stepfamilies often face special problems. And with nearly a million of them in the...
Creative Writing: Book Launch & Signing For Time To Shine
Not the best of photographs, but this is me telling my audience, at my Book Launch, yesterday, about my creative writing journey. My love of books began at the age of five, when my father used to read my favourite bedtime story, Oscar Wilde's The Selfish Giant from the leather-bound...
Time To Shine - A Mystery. A Marriage Mender. And A Mary Berry Style Bake Off
First in the Evie Adams series: Page one of my new book
Sometimes, when you're counselling a client and she lobs a direct question at you, protocol requires that you bounce it back to her. A case in point is my two-o'clock this Friday afternoon, a mother of three, early-forties, by the...
Mel's Online Book Club: Questions For: Faith In The Fog: Believing In What You Cannot See By Jeff Lucas
FAITH IN THE FOG: by Jeff Lucas
NB: Page numbers below relate to Kindle pages
Click here for Discussion Summary of Faith in the Fog 1. Time Trapped. 31-46 · Do we wish we could go back in time as the disciples went back to Galilee to fish? If so why? Isn’t our past shame washed...
Click here for Discussion Summary of Faith in the Fog 1. Time Trapped. 31-46 · Do we wish we could go back in time as the disciples went back to Galilee to fish? If so why? Isn’t our past shame washed...
Mel's Online Book Club: Discussion Summary Of Faith In The Fog: Believing In What You Cannot See By Jeff Lucas
Having prayed for absent book club members, particularly one, who is back in hospital on a second course of chemo, we started the evening with a general overview of Jeff Lucas’ book, Faith in the Fog. Without exception the group professed to having enjoyed it, though one person found his self-deprecation...
God On Mute - The Problem Of Unanswered Prayers: Mel's Online Book Club
As book club questions were included in the book, I did not compile any for my real-time reading group, who met last week.
A book on unanswered prayer is never going to be an exhilarating read, but God On Mute, by Pete Greig, surpassed expectation for all but two of...
Understanding The Drama Triangle In Personal Relationships & Fictional Characters
The theory of transactional analysis is a subject of never-ending fascination - both to those who find themselves participating in the Drama Triangle, and to aspiring authors involved in writing and publishing a book! Last week I met up with the friend of a friend and, during the course of...
Empowering Solutions: Lift Up Your Eyes; Enlarge Your Vision!
Have you ever felt weighed down in an emotionally draining situation – as if someone had thrown a heavy, wet, cape around your shoulders; as if the effort of having to drag it around drained you of energy for anything else? Especially anything inspirational, like creative writing.
Of course you have! Most of us have...
Does Your Creative Writing Style Encourage A Relationship With Your Readers?
Is it ever a good idea, as a book author, to stop writing? This isn’t a trick question: I have a genuine interest in your views – especially those of you who subscribe to my blog and are regular readers of my articles – plus it may be something you should be asking yourselves....
A Personality Test: Can It Define Blog Brand, Niche & Writing Content?
Does it ever occur to you that who you are might define not only your blog brand and niche, but also the content and style of your writing? One of my readers wrote to me recently and, as part of her e-mail, made the following statements:
Just did the personality test on your website...Teen Drug Abuse: Peer Education Training Challenges Misconceptions
INTRODUCTION TO GUEST BLOG BY LUCY CRIPPS
My novel, A Painful Post Mortem, has been selling now for sometime, and has raised a substantial sum of money for the two charities I chose to support with the proceeds. This month, in addition to the print edition, I decided to make it available as an e-book....Negative Personality Traits: How Do You Confront Them?
Many of you have taken the free Personality Test here, on my website, so I hope you will understand when I tell you that I woke up this morning feeling somewhat at the mercy of my Type. Actually, what I thought, was that I must be turning into my father! He would tell you...
Transactional Analysis: Getting Off The Drama Triangle Part 2
The Drama Triangle is a model of dysfunctional relationships, in which I might see myself as occupying one of three roles: Victim; Rescuer; or Persecutor. As Victim I require you to become my Rescuer. If you don’t comply, I may become a Persecutor, accusing you of neglecting my needs. If you choose not to...
The Drama Triangle & The Games People Play
I looked, a couple of days ago, at Transactional Analysis – the Drama Triangle in particular:
First as a means of conflict resolution for those experiencing problems with their personal relationships. And second – for writers and aspiring authors – as an innovative way of creating fictional characters. THE GAMES PEOPLE PLAYThe theory of transactional analysis...
Conflict Resolution: Relationship Psychology - And Creating Fictional Characters
What I’m about to tell you will revolutionise the way you perceive your personal relationships. It will also give you immense insight when it comes to creative writing and publishing a book and, in particular, when you’re creating fictional characters. So, whether you are attempting to make sense of your own relationships, or looking for...
A Christmas Gift For All Year Round
I was reading, this week, a short piece titled: Right People Get It Wrong. The writer cited two extremes in the range of good and evil: those who appear to live selfless, sacrificial lives; and those who are utterly unconcerned about the damage that they do to others. But the gist, the moral, of...
Family & Parenting: How To Love Yourself - And Difficult Elderly Parents
Dear Mel,
My parents have always had a very explosive relationship. There were always shouting matches when I was a child, and I grew up fearful that they were going to get divorced. My dad had a very fiery temper, whereas my mum would be tearful. Inbetween the rows my dad...
Free Psychometric Profiling Switch On As The Power Of Positive Thinking Is Unplugged
The Power of Positive Thinking, Norman Vincent Peale, has electrified society for over half a century as the means of feeling valued and attaining success in life. Now, it appears, to have been unplugged – or at least to have suffered power failure and fizzled out! Despite an epidemic of positive thinking for the last...
A Fear Of Speaking In Public: Five Practical Ways To Overcome It
You’ve been asked to do some public speaking for the Gardening Club, or Mums & Toddlers and frankly, you’re terrified. In fact your fear of speaking in public is enough to make you want to hang up your trowel and green wellies forever. And as for mums and toddlers, well your two-year-old is going...
Public Speaking As A Means To Enlarge My Vision: Part 2 - Receiving
I wrote, last week, about public speaking as being an act of investing in people, and suggested that it had a three dimensional nature: I give; I receive; I am filled. Having put in the effort to find out something about your audience, assembled your public speaking ideas and arranged them into a coherent...
Public Speaking As A Means To Enlarge My Vision: Part 1 - Preparing To Give
Public speaking for the dedicated communicator is so three dimensional. I give; I receive; I am filled. Or perhaps that should be: I am filled; I give; I receive. Let me explain.
Setting up a keynote address requires a huge effort. Especially if it includes visuals such as a Power Point Presentation. Hours of work...
Make The World A Better Place: Be A Cookie
One of the seminars I attended at the Conference at which I was speaking last week was about seeing your life as a cookie. Kathy See is the editor of Revive magazine and she wanted us to focus on our self-perception and what we might be able to offer in terms of writing a...
The Shack By William Young: Uv Readers' Group Discussion Summary
Is The Shack A True Story?
This was one of the issues raised when twenty-one of us met on Thursday to share our impressions of William Young's debut novel. Many of us found ourselves thinking of Madeleine McCann, the four year old who disappeared in Portugal whilst holidaying with her parents...
Right Brain Dominant: How To Make Your Writing Flow
A comment on my post The Structure Of A Novel: 12 Tips, complimented me for my articles on writing fiction, but asked when you should give up the brainstorming and simply sit down and let the narrative flow? It’s a good question and one which I thought deserving of more attention than I could give...
Creative Writing As A Means Of Illustrating Compulsive And Obsessive Behaviour
I hope you’re not going to lose patience with me, but I’m so impressed with Friedman’s Fables that, yet again, I’m going to apply one of them to a real-life situation, in what I call a ‘combi-blog’. Because it addresses not only a real life relationship problem but is also of relevance to writing fiction.
DO...Reviewing Techniques When Resolving Conflict
This is the first Post on my shiny new laptop. As I wrote, yesterday on my Twitter wall (I think that’s the correct jargon) setting up a new computer is a nightmare of mistakes, misunderstandings and misapprehension. Hence the lack of time to add anything to my blog for a few days.
So I thought, today,...
Thirteen Things To Boost Your Morale
On the last day of 2008, I posted a blog titled Let This New Year Be Your New Beginning, and suggested that if you’ve been having a tough time in 2008, or are facing hard times as the New Year dawns, you might try a writing exercise. Exercise is probably the wrong word to...
Let This New Year Be Your New Beginning
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I hope that 2009 will bring you good health and happiness. If you’re an aspiring author, let this be the year that you achieve success in publishing terms. And if you’re simply in need of a little love and understanding, may you find it where you least expect it. Read on ....
14 Ways To Avoid Stress - And The Breakdown Of A Relationship At Christmas
ORIGINALLY WRITTEN PRE-CHRISTMAS 2008, THE FOLLOWING
POINTS MAY BE ADAPTED, AND ARE VALID AT ANY TIME OF THE
YEAR
The effects on children when parents are separating are immense. They are quick to pick up on the cracks and strains that appear between warring parents, and it is the adults’ responsibility to protect them, as...
Advent: A Time To Reflect Between Thanksgiving & Gift Giving - Ten Tips To Happiness
I woke, yesterday morning, feeling bad-tempered. This is a rare occurrence and is almost alwaysas a result of my husband’s snoring! There’s something deeply offensive about lying next to someone whose somnolence – loudly and bed-tremblingly declared - is the sole reason for your inability to sleep. Don’t you think?
A FEELING OF CONTENTMENT WAS MARKEDLY...Sex Or Chocolate? Chocolate Or Sex? How Would You Define Happiness?
Revised: NEW YEAR'S EVE, 31st December, 2009
Much has changed since I first wrote this article, so
it seemed to me that it deserved to be revised, amended and added
to, with quotes, suggestions and advice. I hope, that in following
some of the ideas, you might find yourself stumbling on happiness,
without, perhaps, ever...
BBC Radio Devon Interview
Listen to me chatting to Dave Fitzgerald about my latest release, Chosen, on BBC local radio.
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