Blog: Mel's Muse - Related to Stepfamilies

Successful Step-parenting: If Ozzy Osbourne Can Do It, So Can You!

Posted: Thursday, 8th October 2009

I was asked by BBC Radio Birmingham to be their 'expert' on this morning's discussion on step-parenting. I’ve forgotten how many times I’ve been interviewed in connection with my book, Stepfamilies, but I suppose, given that something like one in eight British children are now growing up in a blended family, it’s a hot topic.

STEP-CHILDREN: SOMETIMES THEY GET ON, SOMETIMES THEY DON’T

Ozzy Osborne kicked off the discussion in the studio, by admitting that his children from his first marriage and those from his second (to Sharon) "sometimes get on, and sometimes don't".

Articles on related themes: Relationships; Family & Parenting; Speaking Engagements; Stepfamilies

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Successful Step Parenting: Three Potential Pitfalls - No 3 Contact With Absent Parent

Posted: Monday, 24th August 2009

The absent parent and the role they play in a stepfamily is, without doubt, one of the major blended family challenges. In the BBC Birmingham Andrew Peach show on which I had been invited to speak, I was able, in the brief amount of time allotted to me, to get something of this across.

But first, I touched on the other aspects I’ve already covered. The priority is to find common ground between step parent and step child in order to establish a stand-alone relationship which is independent of the biological mother or father.

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Successful Step Parenting: Three Potential Pitfalls - No 2 Coping With Step Children

Posted: Friday, 21st August 2009

Only a day after doing the BBC Newcastle Breakfast Show, I had a phone call from BBC Birmingham, asking me to kick off the debate on Sunday morning 9.05 a.m. on – guess what – stepfamilies! What’s going on here?

In my blog of a couple of days ago, I identified the three potential pitfalls in a stepfamily as:

1. Relationship between the couple
2. Relationship between stepparent and stepchild
3. Relationship between an absent parent and child

They all seem pretty obvious, don’t they? And without doubt, they overlap and interlink.

Articles on related themes: Relationships; Family & Parenting; Speaking Engagements; Stepfamilies

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Successful Step Parenting: Three Potential Pitfalls - No. 1 Financial

Posted: Tuesday, 18th August 2009

BBC Radio Newcastle, which serves an area from the Scottish Borders to Durham, asked me to speak, this morning, on whether stepfamilies could ever be as successful and harmonious as biological families.

As before, on my interview with BBC Radio 5 Live, I answered a resounding Yes. From personal experience, plus observation of the families I interviewed for my book Stepfamilies, I know that step parenting, while never easy, can be worked at, and blended family challenges are rarely insurmountable.

Articles on related themes: Relationships; Family & Parenting; Speaking Engagements; Stepfamilies

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Do False Expectations Of Marriage Cause Stepfamily Problems?

Posted: Wednesday, 8th July 2009

What follows is an excerpt from the soon to be published revised and updated edition of Mel's book, Stepfamilies.

It is a false premise to expect that any marriage can ever answer all of our needs. To think otherwise is a totally unrealistic ideal which is doomed to disappointment. And this, perhaps, is one of the prime reasons for the failure of so many marriages.

Articles on related themes: Relationships; Family & Parenting; Books, Reading & Words; Stepfamilies

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Successful Step Parenting: Dealing With The Loss Of A Parent

Posted: Friday, 5th June 2009

Whenever the subject of single parents marrying again arises, there is a tendency to think that the greatest consideration should be given to the impact of divorce on children. Those coping with the loss of a parent through death appear to receive less in the way of attention. Perhaps the concept of a ‘replacement parent’ is perceived, by onlookers, to be a net gain? But this simplification of complex emotions shows a complete lack of understanding, and grossly under-estimates the problems which such attitudes may foster in the resulting stepfamily.

The issues break broadly into three:

1. The emotions of the child dealing with the loss of a parent.

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Successful Step Parenting: Consider The Impact Of Divorce On Children

Posted: Friday, 29th May 2009

Continuing the series on Stepfamilies, this revised and updated excerpt from Mel's book examines the steps that can be taken to avoid some of the problems that may arise for children of divorce.

MARRYING AGAIN used to be the only alternative to remaining single after a divorce but, with a shift in benefit payments in the UK, that is no longer the case. Nevertheless, despite a fall in remarriages since a peak of 141,00 in 1988, they still account for nearly 40% of all marriages, and more than 10% of families with dependent children are stepfamilies.* Sadly, many of them are not destined to succeed.

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Marriage And Remarriage: When Two Halves Don't Make A Whole

Posted: Friday, 22nd May 2009

Following is an abridged and revised excerpt from Mel’s book Stepfamilies, which the BBC recently asked her to debate on the Richard Bacon show. In previous posts, the inference has been that unless the two people embarking on a second (or subsequent) marriage get it right, there is little chance of tackling other blended family issues, such as step-parenting.

Most marriages don’t add two people together. They subtract one from the other.

Articles on related themes: Relationships; Self Help; Family & Parenting; Books, Reading & Words; Stepfamilies