Best Evening Gowns For A Fashion Fix?

Posted at 09:00am on 25th October 2008

The Party Season Beginneth. And if you’re after a Fashion Fix, you need look no further than Marks & Spencer. Have you seen the glamorous evening gowns on offer through their Autograph range? One of the most stunning, in my view, was advertised recently in The Daily Telegraph.

GLAMOROUS EVENING GOWNS BEAT RECESSION

In these days of gloom and doom, the sight of luxurious, feminine fabrics and décolletage are enough to thrill any woman’s heart. With the weather turning colder, the economic climate positively freezing, and the party season threatening to be buried under an avalanche of debt, what could be more appealing than to adorn yourself in something alluring; to sparkle and scintillate in a frock stiff with sequin-encrusted embroidery; to fizzle in the soft silver-grey of silk satin folds; to lift your eyes demurely above bare shoulders and shoe-string straps; in short, to feel like a Princess?

THE WORLD: YOUR OYSTER

Where could you go in such a gown? To the best parties in Manhattan or Malibu? A Christingle or New Year’s Ball? Perhaps a white-tie Presidential dinner following the USA elections? And what couldn’t you do! Beguile a Baron; a Billionaire or two? Tease and tantalise a Tycoon? Seduce a celeb. The world would be yours! In oyster-speak, you’d have a whole pearl necklace.

Mellifluously modelled by a doe-eyed, platinum blonde in whose pink, smiling mouth butter wouldn’t melt, the best bit of all is the price of this dress. Can it be true? A mere thirty-eight British pounds?

THE CAMERA NEVER LIES

But wait a moment. I’ve only told you half a truth; given you half a picture. The dress is indeed a delightful confection of satin and sequins, multi-layered, with shoe-string straps, and beguiling bows. But when I look again, I see that the model is a child! A mere child, of probably no more than seven years of age. Innocence shines from her big brown eyes. Her porcelain complexion is puckered into a smile. Her hands are clasped demurely in her lap.

I am outraged! What mother, with half a mind for her little girl’s childhood, puts her into a sexy, sophisticated, ball gown? Even trying to pass it off as a ‘prom dress’ is – if you’ll excuse the expression – pissing in the wind. It’s going to come back on you. Call me old fashioned if you will, but to my mind you’re robbing your child of something precious and irreplaceable. And for what? A ‘mere’ thirty-eight pounds is a heck of a lot of money for a frivolous frock that will be worn once then outgrown. Take a look. What do you think? Let me know.

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