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Blog: Mel's Muse - Archive for October 2008

Grandparents Caring For Grandchildren

Posted: Friday, 31st October 2008

Wil & Alex Oct08

Eighty per-cent of children in the UK are regularly cared for by a grandparent, says The Times, with the result that sixty per-cent of all British childcare is undertaken by grandparents. As payment for grandparents is virtually non-existent (92% receive no remuneration) this is at a saving to the economy of £4 billion a year.

PAYMENT FOR GRANDPARENTS

Many grandparents caring for grandchildren say that they would find the offer of money an affront. But I suspect that this sensitivity would be greatly diminished if the care they gave were to be officially recognised.

Articles on related themes: Family & Parenting

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You Wouldn't Do It To A Dog

Posted: Wednesday, 29th October 2008

A cracked rib is painful at the best of times. A fortnight with an undiagnosed cracked rib still worse. But a fortnight, yelling in pain, being fobbed off with paracetamol and accused of malingering, when you’re 94 years of age is outrageous.

THE WRONG SORT OF BLINDNESS

It began two weeks ago last Sunday. My other half and I went to my parents’ home to spend the day with my father so that my mother might have a day of respite playing in a bridge tournament. My father is the ninety-four year old; my mother – his carer – is ninety.

Articles on related themes: Family & Parenting; Life, Faith & Other Stuff

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True British Spirit - Transport Style

Posted: Tuesday, 28th October 2008

It was with a sense of dread that I left home, at the weekend, to travel north to visit my eldest daughter. It was a trip which should have taken eight hours and included three trains journeys, with a car ride either side. As it turned out, it took nine hours, five trains plus the two car rides – and because my itinerary was shot to bits before I even started, I felt I was stepping into the unknown.

PUBLIC TRANSPORT – BRITISH STYLE

My first train was cancelled. The second was more than twenty minutes late.

Articles on related themes: Life, Faith & Other Stuff

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Bloody Cheek - From A Faint Streak Of Humility!

Posted: Monday, 27th October 2008

Reviews of your book are something a writer looks upon with a sort of love-hate relationship. In a sense they’re the life-blood of a book: a good one serves the same purpose as a shot of adrenaline in the arm, or a stiff G&T, a poor one may do what a dose of flu might do; none at all, and rigor mortis will rapidly set in.

GOOD BOOK REVIEWS OUTWEIGH BAD

There are some who say that for every bad review you need seven good ones to counter it. Others declare that all publicity is good publicity.

Articles on related themes: Books, Reading & Words

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Best Evening Gowns For A Fashion Fix?

Posted: Saturday, 25th October 2008

The Party Season Beginneth. And if you’re after a Fashion Fix, you need look no further than Marks & Spencer. Have you seen the glamorous evening gowns on offer through their Autograph range? One of the most stunning, in my view, was advertised recently in The Daily Telegraph.

GLAMOROUS EVENING GOWNS BEAT RECESSION

In these days of gloom and doom, the sight of luxurious, feminine fabrics and décolletage are enough to thrill any woman’s heart.

Articles on related themes: Family & Parenting

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Essential Blogging Advice For Beginners

Posted: Thursday, 23rd October 2008

There may be those, as I have already said, who decry blogging as adding to the ‘misinformation and ignorance’ of the ‘digitally addicted’, but without doubt blogging has become the buzz word of the internet. Whether you’re blogging for profit or simply for fun, the aim of the game is always to attract more readers to your site.

BLOGGING FOR PROFIT - OR NOT

I have been asked to speak, next month, at a London-based meeting of the CMPA – a branch of the Music Publishers’ Association – on the subject of blogging.

Articles on related themes: Brand; Title; Content

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Horsing About - Internet Stupidity On Delusion

Posted: Wednesday, 22nd October 2008

Horsey, Horsey

On page 6 in the Daily Telegraph, dated 21st October, 2008, there was a short piece titled ‘Internet encourages stupidity’. A serious study of the rise in children’s addiction to ‘an endless digital forest of mediocrity’ and decline in moral boundaries, it called for a government clean-up. It appears, also, that an increase in blogging blurs our sense of what is true or false, real or imaginary. All of which I can believe.

Nevertheless, in the interest of insanity and depression, I thought that, today, in the midst of all the gloom and doom, a light hearted look at some recent news wouldn’t go amiss.

Articles on related themes: Occasional Silliness

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The Art of Forgiveness - Is It Achievable?

Posted: Tuesday, 21st October 2008

My daughter passed on to me her copy of The Times from a couple of weekends ago. She thought I might like to blog about an article to do with modern grannies, but my eye was caught by another – on healing and forgiveness. Time enough for grannies at a later date, I thought!

PERSONAL PRACTICE OF THE ART OF FORGIVENESS

It was particularly relevant to me because of a decision made by others a decade ago, which has resonated through my family ever since. What was once a warm and close-knit unit is now, sadly, scattered, slow-burning coals.

Articles on related themes: Self Help; Life, Faith & Other Stuff; Forgiveness

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Bank Of England Bail Out Versus House Repossessions 2008

Posted: Monday, 20th October 2008

SOS

Now I’m not an economist, and neither do I read economist reports. But I am a human being! And it seems to me that it’s not difficult to see a great injustice going on in today’s troubled times. What’s even more galling is that wherever you come across it, there’s always someone benefiting from injustice. With apologies to Matthew 18: 23-35 in the New Testament – see what you think:

THE PARABLE OF THE UNMERCIFUL BANK

There was once a Prime Minister who wanted to settle accounts with his banks. As he began the settlement, a bank which was several billion pounds adrift was brought to his attention.

Articles on related themes: Current Affairs; Debt; Life, Faith & Other Stuff

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Dealing With Denial, Grief & Anger Following Bereavement

Posted: Saturday, 18th October 2008

Sea spray

REVISED & UPDATED 1st December, 2010

I wrote last week about dealing with the shock of losing someone you love and said that numbness is a normal initial response following a bereavement.� The loss of a loved one is a traumatic event, and this is the body's defence mechanism kicking in, to ensure that the ill-effects are minimised before they become overwhelming.� Gradually, various emotions will then begin to seep into consciousness over a period of time.

Articles on related themes: Bereavement; Books, Reading & Words

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Birth Order - Middle Child

Posted: Friday, 17th October 2008

According to the Wikipedia website, one of the first people to suggest that birth order has an effect on personality was an Austrian psychiatrist, Alfred Adler. A contemporary of Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung, he argued that the way in which each of us tackles the major aspects of life – friendship, love and work – is greatly influenced by our birth order in the family.

Articles on related themes: Life, Faith & Other Stuff; Family & Parenting; Books, Reading & Words

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Sex or Chocolate? Chocolate or Sex? How Would YOU Define Happiness?

Posted: Wednesday, 15th October 2008

Revised: NEW YEAR'S EVE, 31st December, 2009

Much has changed since I first wrote this article, so it seemed to me that it deserved to be revised, amended and added to, with quotes, suggestions and advice. I hope, that in following some of the ideas, you might find yourself stumbling on happiness, without, perhaps, ever having defined the secret!

“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city,” joked George Burns.

With the frenzy of Christmas still upon us, many may agree.

Articles on related themes: Life, Faith & Other Stuff; Self Help; Personal Growth; Inspirational

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The Initial Shock Of Losing Someone You Love - How To Cope

Posted: Tuesday, 14th October 2008

“Life,” said Lewis Grizzard, the original grumpy old man, “is a sexually transmitted terminal disease.”

It took me a moment or two to take it in when I read that statement. When the penny dropped, I laughed aloud. It’s just such a clever line!

And on a physical level, it says it all. Life – mine and yours – began with a sexual act, and without a shadow of doubt, it will end in death. In the Western world, that thought is something we shy away from.

Articles on related themes: Bereavement; Books, Reading & Words

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Is Taking Risks In The Second Half A Good Game Plan For Life?

Posted: Monday, 13th October 2008

OLD AGE? YOU GOTTA LAUGH, BEFORE YOU DIE

Do you ever feel that there are times in your life when your body is trying to convince you that it’s closer to lights out than it is to reveille? You don’t, actually, have to be in your dotage to feel like this. Neither do the symptoms have to be the subject of tragedy. It’s all a matter of perception.

That seems to be the message of David Lodge’s latest novel Deaf Sentence, in which the protagonist, a sixty-something year old, is losing his hearing.

Articles on related themes: Life, Faith & Other Stuff; Books, Reading & Words

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COMPETITION - Winner of the Bucket List - 5 Things I'd Like To Do Before I Die

Posted: Saturday, 11th October 2008

For those of you who may be coming to this Post for the first time, here is the competition I set at the beginning of September, asking you to list the Five Things I’d Like To Do Before I Die.

PETULANCE & PRESSURE

It was obviously something that you all find quite daunting, because it was only with a degree of petulance and pressure on my part, that you were eventually persuaded to put your thoughts together.

Articles on related themes: Books, Reading & Words; Fun & Competitions

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Eldest Child Syndrome - Are You One? Or Do You Know Of One?

Posted: Thursday, 9th October 2008

Have you ever been in a situation where you begin to wonder whether other people’s expectations of you exceed your ability or willingness to deliver? Of course you have! Silly question – unless you’re one of those super-humans who knows how to say ‘No!’ But that’s another issue, for another day.

BIRTH ORDER AND SELF

Thing is, there’s a limit to what you can do, isn’t there? I’m one of the sandwich generation – more of that, too, on another day – so I have both young grandchildren for whom I care twice a week whilst my daughter teaches, and parents with various health issues, who require a degree of support.

Articles on related themes: Family & Parenting

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Bereavement - Dealing With The Death Of A Loved One

Posted: Tuesday, 7th October 2008

DEALING WITH THE DEATH OF A LOVED ONE

‘Life is a public performance on the violin, in which you must learn the instrument as you go along.’ The quotation is attributed to a friend of the writer, E.M Forster, and is taken from a new book titled, Advanced Banter. It struck me, as I read it in the Daily Telegraph, that this is never more true than when we are dealing with a death in the family.

LOSS & BEREAVEMENT

Coping with the loss of a loved one is probably the most public performance we shall ever put on, for which we have had no prior preparation.

Articles on related themes: Bereavement

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Man Flu? The Female Version's The Killer Strain!

Posted: Monday, 6th October 2008

MAN FLU?

I don’t know about Man Flu, but I’ve definitely been suffering with the female version this week. You know the sort of thing? Having hardly slept overnight, you wake up on Monday morning feeling utterly ghastly: stuffed ears feeling as though they’ve been pumped full of the insulating foam that lines the cavity walls of your house (unless you happen to have shares in British gas); throat behaving as though you’ve swallowed a golf ball, if not a tennis ball; head exploding; and nose like a blocked drain in need of a plumber and a plunger.

THE FEMALE VERSION’S WORSE

But hey! You’re female.

Articles on related themes: Family & Parenting; Life, Faith & Other Stuff

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Recipes From A Yorkshire Woman

Posted: Saturday, 4th October 2008

THE REAL YORKSHIRE PUDDING

Consistently produce the perfect Yorkshire pudding; one that rises majestically into crisp pinnacles on the edges yet retains a moist base. Nick says mine are great, but unlike me, he doesn't come from the north of England where a housewife is judged on the quality of her Yorkshire puddings!

This was one of the comments left on Day 14 of the competition: 5 Things I’d Like To Do Before I Die so I thought I’d respond by giving the Yorkshire Pudding recipe which was passed on to me by my children’s great-grandmother, a Yorkshire woman through and through.

Articles on related themes: Life, Faith & Other Stuff

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Innovation & Profundity - Competition Short List - 5 Things I'd Like To Do Before I Die

Posted: Friday, 3rd October 2008

Related Posts: Final Day

A PROCESS OF ELIMINATION

Wow! I’m glad the response to my competition on the Five Things I’d Like To Do Before I Die wasn’t overwhelmingly large. It’s much more difficult than I realised to judge something like this fairly. I’d hate to be a Booker prize judge! But thank you, again, to all of you who took part. You can read the comments by clicking Day 14 and Day 9.

REPETITION

Using a colour-coding, the first thing I did was to eliminate repetitious replies. Remember, I said: The winner will be the comment which I consider to be the most innovative (Concise Oxford Dictionary definition: innovative adj.

Articles on related themes: Fun & Competitions

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Protesters Take On The Post Office - And Win!

Posted: Thursday, 2nd October 2008

Other Posts in Life, Faith & Other Stuff: Recipes From A Yorkshire Woman

Last month we saved our local Post Office. This week it’s Ban the Mast. Well – you gotta try, haven’t you?

RADICAL ACTIVIST NETWORKS

Actually, I’ve never been a try-er in the sense of protestors who regularly practice militancy, marching, or sitting-in. I recall the Ban-the-Bomb lot, and the Greenham Common women with a mixture of awe and revulsion. All those unwashed bodies. But what dedication! And what about Swampy? Remember him? His dreadlocks emerging from his tunnelled home beneath Binsted Wood were a regular feature on our TV screens in the nineties.

CAMPAIGN PRODUCTIONS

Our campaigns have not been in that league.

Articles on related themes: Life, Faith & Other Stuff

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